Reordering Your Priorities

Reordering Your Priorities

As a woman, I know all too well the superwoman feeling of having to do it all.  Let’s see…we’ve got work needs, home needs, personal needs, relationship needs, financial needs, social needs, spiritual needs–Whew!  No wonder work and life responsibilities are hard to balance!  So here’s a question for ya (life coaches and counselors love questions!):

Are you living by default or are you living by design?

When you know your priorities in life–when you’re in touch with your values and live them, when you have goals, when you are living your life purpose–you are living by design.  When you are struggling to get your needs met, when you are living someone else’s dream, when you put others first consistently, when you are reactive to everything thrown your way, when you aren’t in touch with who you are or what your values are—you, my friend, are living by default.

You may know this, but do you live it?  

It isn’t selfish to take care of your own needs.  

Like the emergency oxygen mask instructions when you’re on a plane–put your own mask on first, then you can help others–you need to do the same with your life.  Can I ask you something personal:  Do you even know your own needs?

Give yourself permission to blossom into the person you were meant to be by reordering your priorities to reflect who and what you are.

When you know your values and your goals, your life is lived on purpose.

When you live by design you live by your internal compass.  You’ve got a road map in front of you and your GPS is set and aligned with your destination.  Whoops!  Traffic ahead–there’s a detour!  That’s okay, that just means you’ll need to reroute.  Nothing like a little challenge to provide you with another learning opportunity.

Here’s another element of living life by design, not by default:  When you get in touch with your soul–that part of you that touches God/Oneness/Sprit–you begin to live authentically.  You prioritize according to your own inner being and wellness–not to some conceived perceptions of how you’re supposed to be.  That’s freeing!  Your priorities shift as you begin to honor your own Truth.

When I was still married to my  ex, I was living a life that wasn’t me.  Oh, there were some parts that were me–like being a mom–but most of my other life reflected a dream others from the outside looking in would probably want, but I was resistant to seeing it was wrong for me–and for my ex too.  I was living a life that felt incongruent with my needs, my values, my priorities–and it showed.  Depression–that kind where you can still function on a daily basis, but numb and sad is your default mode–showed up to raise the flag in my life that something was off.  Then, a panic attack struck me in the middle of when our marriage was spiraling out of control (“Is he flirting with that person?  No, he wouldn’t do that.  I feel so jealous of his best friend–you shouldn’t feel that way Nicole”).  DING DING DING!  PANIC ALERT!  If you won’t pay attention to the other signs Nicole, I’ll show up in another way.  I had learned to shut down my intuition and my soul to protect my relationship at all costs.  I paid the price–then.  Now?  I’ve learned a lot this past decade–and one thing is not to repeat my “mistakes” (which are learning opportunities in disguise).  It’s one of the reasons why I became a life coach–I recognize the signs of stuckness and denial.  I help people out of their challenges and into a life well lived.  I believe it is our journey on this planet to design a life that is authentically ours.  Then, we are at a wonderful place to give back (instead of take from) the world.  We then provide the inspiration for others to live their best lives.

 

How to Make a Difference

How to Make a Difference

I love to read. At any given time, if you look on my desk or nightstand I have at least 5 books that I’m reading.  Right now for example, I’m reading MockingJay, Building Your Ideal Private Practice (for one of my classes in Marriage and Family Therapy–great book by the way!), A Year By the Sea,Continue Reading

Moving Past the Pain of Being Rejected by Your Family

Moving Past the Pain of Being Rejected by Your Family

“When you meet anyone, treat the event as a holy encounter. It’s through others that we either find or love our self. For you see, nothing is accomplished without others. When you eliminate the concept of separation from your thoughts and your behavior, you begin to feel your connection to everything and everyone.” - Dr. WayneContinue Reading

5 Ways to Inject More Happiness into Your Life

5 Ways to Inject More Happiness into Your Life

Human beings experience a wide range of feelings during the day.  Think about this:  Let’s say you wake up excited about your day, then you get annoyed because your coffee spilled, then sad because you have to leave your kids to go to work, back to excited about a lunch date, etc.  If you takeContinue Reading

Liebster Award Nomination

Liebster Award Nomination

It’s always great news to know someone has thought of your blog and wants to nominate it for a Liebster Award!  Especially since it’s my second nomination.  It’s also nice to know that even though I haven’t been as focused on the blog because of my studies as a graduate student in Marriage and FamilyContinue Reading

Be Amazing

Be Amazing

Life certainly can hand you some challenges.  Let’s face it:  Sometimes you wonder what the heck you signed up for!  And yet, through it all, at the core of you is a changeless spirit–it’s not suffering, not judging, not doing or being anything but just being what is.  Your core, your essence, or what IContinue Reading

5 Ways to Kill Your Relationship

5 Ways to Kill Your Relationship

Have you ever been out in public and a couple has caught your attention–and not in a good way?  Maybe they’re mean to one another, or one of them is ogling another person in their vicinity?  It’s uncomfortable to watch.  And what is so obvious in other couples may be harder to see in ourContinue Reading

Inspirational Quote of the Week–Martha Beck

Inspirational Quote of the Week–Martha Beck

“Imagine what you’d do if it absolutely didn’t matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.” ~Martha Beck Confidence.  One of the definitions of confidence is the “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.” (dictionary.com).  When you’re confident in yourself and your abilities, you don’t give aContinue Reading

6 Ways to Get Yourself Out of a Bad Mood–Fast!

6 Ways to Get Yourself Out of a Bad Mood–Fast!

Ahhh the grumpies….Everyone gets in a bad mood once in awhile.  Maybe you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or someone inadvertently says something that triggers your grumpiness.  However you found yourself in a bad mood, you know you don’t want to stay in it.  How do you get out of aContinue Reading

Brene Brown’s “Are You the Adult that You Want Your Child to Grow Up to Be?”

Brene Brown’s “Are You the Adult that You Want Your Child to Grow Up to Be?”

I love this quote from Brene Brown that I found in an interview with her for the Washington Post:  ”Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”  Isn’t that a great question?  It makes you think about how you want to be in the world as a role modelContinue Reading

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