For those of you who have read my book, Transforming Divorce:  How to Get Back on Track and Create a Life You Love, and are familiar with my story, a video portraying only a sliver of what I’ve been through can be seen on a recent Today show.  It can be viewed by clicking here, but viewer discretion is advised (contains adult content).

After what happened to her, the woman in the video hid her pain by drinking and being with several other men.  I took another path.  From the beginning, I focused on creating a better life for myself and my children.  I became a competitive runner, went to therapy for several years, wrote 2 books, and got my Bachelor’s degree.  I am now remarried to the love of my life (he was my first date in over 17 years!) and am working on an advanced degree in psychology.  I have become a better person, wife, and mother because of what happened to me.  There is a choice when we are faced with trauma:  We can process it and work through it or we can try to avoid the pain; numbing it, avoiding it at all costs, or distracting ourselves from it by self-destructive measures.

I may have lost a lot, but I have gained much, much more.  There are no mistakes, no problems in life; there are only challenges which lead to learning opportunities.

I want to restate, as I mentioned in my Disclaimer article, that these are my experiences.  As such, I recognize that my ex may have a different perspective.  It is not my intent to harm anyone by my actions but to share my experience with others so that they may relate and learn from it.  If I can do it; if I can make it through the pain so can you!  I didn’t just survive, I thrived!