Want to know how to have a better relationship? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, answer this question: How much do you know about your partner? Do you know their favorite color? Their favorite food? Favorite restaurant? Favorite date night idea? Their worst fear? Biggest role model? Where they want to retire? How about their favorite movie? Singer? Band? Song? What about their favorite book or hobby? What’s their favorite car? What’s their favorite holiday? Favorite memory? Why are these things their favorites? Want to know why I’m asking? Because knowing these things about your partner helps create a more loving connection between you two.
One of the keys to a successful relationship is to know your partner’s inner world (and they know yours).
When you share your dreams and desires, you open up a vulnerable part of yourself. Vulnerability helps foster an authentic and loving relationship. Being vulnerable and sharing your inner world can be scary. You are saying, “Here I am–I am opening myself up to you because I trust you. This is what I like, what I dream of, and this is who I am.”
Sharing your inner world with your partner is more than about exposing the vulnerable parts of yourself, however. Relationships are about being a team–a “we focus” and not just a “me focus.” Women in general are fairly good at sharing intimate details of themselves. Men might struggle with this a little bit.
When you seek to learn more about your partner, the attention and focus you give them provides a deeper sense of emotional intimacy and a bonding experience that shows them they are important.
When you share things with your partner about yourself you don’t ordinarily share with the outside world, you allow your vulnerability to show, which in turn strengthens your relationship. Asking your partner about themselves strengthens the relationship by providing your partner with the experience of loving attention and focus. These acts of sharing promote a deeper sense of emotional intimacy.
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If your relationship needs some attention, and you’re not sure just reading articles like these and books will help, I invite you to discover relationship coaching. You can find out more by clicking here: Relationship Coaching.
Is your relationship with your significant other less than stellar? Is it boring? Are you on the fence about getting a divorce or are you now in the midst of one and need some guidance?
I can help. As a certified life coach and counselor with a focus on marriage and family therapy, I help individuals, couples, and families to heal.
My passion is to enrich people’s lives by helping them create extraordinary relationships. I am the author of Transforming Divorce, theTransforming Divorce Workbook, and co-author (with my husband Don Nenninger) ofThe Secrets of Loving Relationships, and The Art and Science of Parenting: How to Act When Your Kid’s Acting Out.