In the first part of this series How to Boost Your Self-Esteem, you learned what self-esteem is and how it can dramatically affect your personal and professional life. Plus you learned 3 tips you can use (starting today!) to boost your self-esteem.
In the second part of this series, you'll learn lots more tips to boost your self-esteem. Let's start with where we left off (tip #4).
And hey! Don't forget: to leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Tip #4: Stretch to Reach Worthy Goals
When you don't have goals, you can drift.
Maybe you have goals. However, when you don't have goals that are just a little out of reach, this can affect your self-esteem. Let me explain.
Have you noticed that when you complete a goal, one that's a little bit of a stretch for you; you feel amazingly alive after! You feel great about life and about yourself!
For example, when I first separated from my ex-husband, I felt horrible. I didn't want a divorce- divorce was failure in my eyes so I felt rejected and stupid for not seeing what was right in front of me.
Thankfully, I had recently enrolled in school to complete my Bachelor's degree. I also started a women's group at my church. Plus, I began training for a half-marathon. In my divorce support group, I ended up running it and giving a workshop at the retreat they held.
Some of these were commitments I made just prior to my break-up (I think I knew intuitively that something was going on). I could've quit. I could've made excuses that I was going through a lot and I didn't have the energy or focus to give it my best. All of these activities/goals were a stretch for me, but I did them because it was important to keep my commitments- to myself and to others.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed or quitting, I welcomed the challenge. And, because I stuck by my commitment to make these things happen, my self-esteem grew by leaps and bounds. I proved to myself I could do these things all by myself. I did it! In the future, when I doubt myself and capabilities, I can reference that time as a reminder that I can do anything!
Imagine for a minute if I didn't follow through (I certainly had reasons not to). But my stick-to-itiveness built up my floundering self-esteem.
You'll develop an attitude of "I can do it!" too when you stretch to meet goals that seem to be just out of reach for you. You've got to follow through on your commitment to see it through. And, it may not be perfect, but do your best- that's enough.
Tip #5: Acknowledge Your Awesomeness
One thing I've noticed with my clients with low self-esteem is that they tend to diminish their awesomeness. They don't tend to think of their successes as much as they focus more on their failures or future potential failures. They get a compliment and they deflect, minimize, or ignore it.
The lens they look through keeps them trapped in fear and doubt and low self-esteem.
Keep a list of your successes, skills, and all the reasons why you're lovable on your computer or on paper as a reminder of how much you've succeeded in your life. What are your accomplishments? If you need help with this, ask your closest friends and family members.
Tip #6: Find Your Tribe
Surround yourself with people who will lift you up, not put you down.
People with low self-esteem tend to put themselves down in their inner talk so why have people in your life who just add to that? Why not have people in your life who acknowledge the awesomeness of you?
Tip #7: Be More Authentic
Being yourself can be scary. You take a risk when you let go of the mask to stand out and shine. You're vulnerable.
When you're congruent with who are, life just flows better. You feel better. When you own your power and uniqueness, you'll naturally tap into your charisma. People will be drawn to you.
When you aren't being authentic in what you're doing, saying, or being; it will affect your body, mind, and spirit.
Your health - mental and physical - will suffer. You'll lose the passion for life because it will feel fake. You'll have less energy because more effort goes into maintaining the mask.
There is only one you. You be you. You're amazing. You have gifts, talents, and a unique personality to offer the world. You'll have higher self-esteem when you're authentically you.
Tip #8: Stop Comparing
This is a big one. Technology has been wonderful for connecting the world. You can also learn so much by going online and searching for it. Unfortunately, the media has been a horrible experience for those who have low self-esteem. Instagram lives, airbrushed models - it's all too easy to feel bad about yourself when you think someone else has it better. For example, comparing yourself to models in a magazine. Or, comparing yourself to a 20 year old millionaire. This is why so many people become depressed after scrolling through Facebook and Instagram: they compare themselves to others leading an "amazing life" (at least that's what we're led to believe).
There's only one you! You are more than enough. Use comparison if you want to motivate you to bigger/better goals and success. Comparison is a sure way to bring yourself down.
Tip #9: Exercise
Get those endorphins flowing! Exercise makes you feel great from the inside and out!
The benefits of exercise are well-known: it boosts your mood, is great for your health, and you'll feel better about your body. But, I think the best thing about exercise is that when you get into a routine and push yourself to exercise even if you don't feel like it, you'll feel better about yourself afterward. These pushes to motivate you to do something you may not be into at the moment, but you know are great for you; will boost your self-esteem. You're following through on your commitment to exercise.
Tip #10: Help Others
When you help someone not for the sake of getting anything in return, but genuinely give, you feel better about yourself. For example, when you pay for a stranger's coffee or toll anonymously, or give to a charity you're passionate about. You feel good because you're doing good in the world.
When you give from the heart and not from your head you boost your self-esteem (when you give from your head, you're strategic about getting something or you're afraid of loss if you don't extend- or over-extend- yourself). You tap into that natural and authentic need of helping and contributing to the world around you to help make it a better place.
Also, helping others means to pitch in and give your best when those around you are working. When you contribute and "pull your weight," you also feel better about yourself.
We just went over 7 more tips to boost your self-esteem. In Part 3 of How to Boost Your Self-Esteem (coming soon!), you'll find out about 5 more tips to help you gain more self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.
Whenever you're ready, here are 4 ways I can help you take your life from ordinary to extraordinary; mundane to magnificent!
1. Online Courses These courses are full of practical tips and tools you won't find anywhere else. Click here
2. E-Books You'll find instantly downloadable books jam-packed with information you can start using immediately to make a huge difference in your life - starting today! Click here
3. Amazon Books My husband and I are authors and co-authors of several relationship and personal development books published on Amazon. Click here
4. Coaching If you'd like to work directly with me to take your life and/or love from blah to bliss, CONTACT ME and let's talk. Tell me a little bit about your situation and what you'd like to work on together and I'll get you all the details.