It’s inevitable. At some point, if you haven’t already gone through a major life change, you will. Maybe it’s when your kids grow up and move out, you get a divorce, there’s a job loss, the loss of a loved one, alienation of a child, an illness…things happen that can turn your world upside down. Sometimes it takes you by surprise because it happens so quickly. Sometimes, you know it is coming, but it still “knocks you for a loop.”
Regardless of what the challenges are, what the timing is like, and other factors which serve to deepen the pain, there are some things you can do to help you get through big change in your life. I get it: Change can be uncomfortable. When your life is “under construction” and you’ve got to recreate some part of it (or all of it), it can be daunting.
Here are 3 tips to help you through big change:
1. Get support.
Hire a counselor or life coach, enlist a friend or family member, or a clergy person, join a support group to help you process what you’re going through and keep you moving forward. I always think of good support as someone who is solution-focused and not so much into allowing you to keep telling your story of woe. Yes, “bad” things happen to really good people, but it doesn’t serve anyone to stay stuck in same spot by repeating the same story. You are not a victim–you are the hero of your life. You are also 100% responsible for your life–for your thoughts, words, and actions. You have a choice as to how you want to move forward. Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up, and not put you down or allow you to stay stuck in your victim story because it serves them.
2. Do something different.
You’re being forced to accommodate change. Take some of your power back by purposely doing something different. Get out in nature, watch a funny film, start a new hobby (when my brother died suddenly at the age of 25, my neighbor gave me a flat of flowers. I spent many weeks outside tending my new garden)–do something to break up the old energy and bring in some new, more vital energy.
3. Get inspired.
Look for beauty in your life, find things to be grateful for, find the learning opportunity in your current challenge.