In this series of articles, you're going to learn what self-esteem is, why having healthy self-esteem is so important, and some tips to help boost your self-esteem.
First, a question for you:
When was the last time you had this thought: I’m not good enough?
Was it recently? Notice I didn't ask you if you ever had that thought. Most of us have.
Maybe it was in a different form: I'm not _FILL IN THE BLANK_ (pretty/athletic/smart/wealthy) enough.
Just so you know, you’re not alone. Millions of people walk around with the underlying belief they aren't good enough. The "I'm not good enough" belief is an epidemic. The cause? Low self-esteem.
What is self-esteem and why is it so important?
Self-esteem is self- respect and having confidence in your own worth and abilities.
The difference between self-esteem and confidence is that self-esteem is more about how you feel about yourself. It's the belief in your worth and value as a human being. Confidence is, simply, the belief in your abilities.
Do any of these sound familiar?:
Low self-esteem affects your ability to earn more money and accept abundance.
Your sense of self-worth is often a barometer of your ability to make and keep money and to accept other wonderful things in your life.
Low self-esteem affects your relationships.
People with low self-esteem tolerate abusive situations and the lack of self-worth tends to lead to depression or a deep underlying sadness,
Self-esteem influences pretty much every area of your personal and professional life. For example, how you feel about yourself can be reflected in your weight, how well you take care of yourself, how assertive you are in situations, and so much more.
One misconception is that self-esteem is on a continuum and once you start working on building it, you'll maintain that level and climb even higher. I wish it was that simple, but self-esteem fluctuates. Your feelings of self-worth will go up and down in all areas of your life as you experience setbacks and successes.
Studies show however, that the trend for self-esteem is that despite the ups and downs, it grows over your life until you're about 60 years old where it steadies. Not until old age, does it begin to actually decline.
Also, your self-esteem can vary in different areas of your life. You may feel worse about yourself at work and in your career, but with friends and family, you feel great around them.
Now you have the basics of what self-esteem is and how low self-esteem can show up in your life.
HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO BOOST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM SO YOU CAN START MAKING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE:
Tip #1: Be Mindful of Your Body
I want you to do something for me right now. If you’re sitting or standing, I want you think about how a depressed person with low self-esteem might carry their body. Now go ahead and do your best imitation of them.
They’d round their shoulders in, right? Maybe compress themselves into a smaller space and look as though they want to disappear. They hang their head and don’t make eye contact. You've got it! You know the body language people have when they don’t feel good about themselves.
Now think about someone who is confident. Go ahead and using your body, become someone who's confident, someone who has self-esteem and knows their self-worth. They stand tall, they look you in the eye, their faces are relaxed, and they’re comfortable with talking with others. Their posture is more open and inviting. What's their power pose? Hands on hips? Shoulders back?
Your mind responds to your body's cues. If your shoulders are slumped forward, your eyes are downcast, and your body has assumed the depressed state, your body is signaling your mind that you are indeed not feeling confident or very good about yourself.
It's like putting a smile on your face. Your mind thinks your happy.
Think about a time when you felt really good about yourself. Did you stand up straight, shoulders back, with the frown off your face? Was your chin up, your fidgeting stopped, and you made eye contact with others? Think about how you are when you had these higher self-esteem and confidence moments. This will be your power pose. When you catch yourself feeling badly about yourself, notice your body language and then move your body into your power pose.
Tip #2: Remember Your Worthiness
How often do you find yourself:
* doubting yourself
* staying in desperate or disempowering situations?
If you diminish your self-worth by your thoughts, words, and actions; the world will meet and treat you where you are.
For example (and this is an extreme example), I've worked with clients who were in abusive situations. When we started to work on their self-esteem, they began to view their relationship differently.
How about your self-talk? Ever paid attention to how much you put yourself down during the day? Does it make you feel better or worse? Sometimes clients will say to me it helps to motivate them to do better. I found that to be the exception, not the rule. To beat yourself up with thoughts like "What were you thinking, idiot? You're so stupid!" is not kind and compassionate to yourself.
Your critical self-talk doesn't add to your self-esteem, it lowers it. As an added bonus, your self-value is projected outward and people will treat you accordingly.Yikes! You're too valuable for that!
So what can you do about this?
Here's a tip: It’s time to start a new habit regarding your thoughts. Every time you say something that is self-critical, I want you to become aware you’re doing it and switch the thought to something positive.
It is helpful to have a list of about 5 sentences to say instead to replace the old statements. Keep the list in your wallet, in your pocket, or on your computer as a reminder.
Examples of new, more supportive phrases to say to yourself are:
* I am loved and supported in all ways and always.
* Divine wisdom guides me.
* My thoughts create my future.
* Experiences are possibilities.
* Life is simple and easy.
Tip #3: Finish Your Tasks
When you're working on chores, work projects, challenges, or goals - do you typically finish what you start? People often assume that when they complete a challenging task for example, that they'll feel amazing, but they don't equate boosting self-esteem with completing even the mundane, everyday tasks. For example, starting to pick up your clutter in your bedroom, but never finishing it. You made the commitment in your mind you'd have a clean bedroom, but you didn't follow through.
Completing your tasks and doing your best in those moments, is just as important as reaching goals and boosting your self-esteem in that way. It's all about keeping those commitments you made to yourself.
Here's another example: training for a 5k. Your task each day is to do a particular step on the way to the goal of running a 5k. If you don't do the steps necessary, you won't be able to do your best on race day. You're not going to be feeling good about yourself either.
To recap: Your self-esteem is boosted when you choose larger goals like running a marathon, but ordinary tasks such as following through on smaller goals/commitments such as completing tasks around your home, is important for your self-esteem as well.
In Part 2 of How to Boost Your Self-Esteem, learn even more tips to help you gain self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. Whenever you're ready, here are 4 ways I can help you take your life from ordinary to extraordinary; mundane to magnificent!
1. Online Courses These courses are full of practical tips and tools you won't find anywhere else. Click here
2. E-Books You'll find instantly downloadable books jam-packed with information you can start using immediately to make a difference in your life - starting today! Click here
3. Amazon Books My husband and I are authors and co-authors of several books published on Amazon. Click here
4. Coaching If you'd like to work directly with me to take your life and/or love from blah to bliss, CONTACT ME and let's talk. Tell me a little bit about your situation and what you'd like to work on together and I'll get you all the details.