Is it better to work out in the morning or in the evening? To start, working out is better than not working out at all, regardless of the time of day. What does the research say about the optimal times to work out? According to a New York Times article, research on mice found that …
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty (thank you dictionary.com). Having integrity as a person is a wonderful ideal. Ask people what character traits they value and most will respond with integrity as part of their list (maybe they–or you–have it up on your vision board or written down in …
Wake up, rush to get ready, eat breakfast (if you’re lucky), rush to work, come home, eat dinner, watch a little tv, go to bed. Does this sound familiar? Did your day go by in a blur? Maybe it was not so rushed, but was it a day that lacked purpose, meaning, or value? What …
**Hey lovely readers! Did you know there is a more recent post of this article? Read it here: John Wooden’s Pyramid Guide for Women Over 50 Seeking Purpose Or…read on…because this one (even though it’s almost 10 years since I wrote this, it’s still highly relevant today)…Here we go! I recently watched a Ted Talk …
John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success–It’s Not Just for Players Read More »
It’s that time of year: Winter! As I write this, there’s no snow on the ground beckoning me to go outside and shovel (shoveling is one of my favorite things to do in winter. I know that must sound crazy to some people!). Winter has a way of making you want to hibernate–it can be …
It’s that time of year! With the approach of the New Year, many people begin to reflect on their New Year’s resolutions (see last week’s post: New Year’s Goal Setting, Version 2.0). Take some time to get quiet this week–even if it’s only for 5-10 minutes–to reflect on how you want your new year to …
As we near the end of the year, I have a question to ask you: Are you one of the millions of people who begin thinking of setting goals and resolutions for the new year ahead? If you are, some of you will start the process by bringing up the disappointments of this past year …
A guest post written by my husband, Don Nenninger. Want to deal with the haters in your life? Have a critic in your family of origin who is always telling you another way to do it better, or why you’re not good enough? Work someplace where criticism is the norm? If any of these are …
How do you define home? Home is a physical place, but it is also a spiritual, emotional, and psychological place, too. For many, home means a place of belonging and acceptance. These feelings are vitally important to the development of identity not only growing up as children, but even into adulthood as well. Home is not necessarily a place, but …
As the mother to 3 girls and 1 step-son, I feel as a parent that they should know how to handle compliments. They get a lot of them! Many adults don’t know how to handle compliments either. Here’s a simple way to deal with them: Say, “Thank you.” That’s it. No excuses, no talking them …
Have you ever seen a map of a place, and in the middle of it there is a little marker with “YOU ARE HERE” on it? Sometimes it’s nice to know where you are–like if you’re in a crowded mall, or on a complicated hiking trail. I think the YOU ARE HERE marker is a …
Ask anyone if they’d like to be happy and they’ll say yes. I mean, c’mon–we’re a nation obsessed with happiness! The right to the pursuit of happiness is even in our Constitution. Okay, so we’ve established that everyone wants happiness. So, you ask: “How do I get there? How can I get happy?” Great question! …
What They Don’t Tell You about the Pursuit of Happiness Read More »
If you are a U.S. citizen, everyone probably remembers where they were and what they were doing on 9/11. It was a turning point for every one of us–a huge wake-up call that we weren’t safe on our home soil. Our troops dealt with this kind of violence on other continents, far away–nothing on this level …
It’s that time of year–it’s BACK TO SCHOOL time. For me, it means a tremendous amount of driving around for my kids (thank goodness they’re active), but I think it’s wonderful to have that one-on-one time with them. Back to school time also has come to mean to me the start of a new year–the …
As we finish up the final week in August (2014), I can’t help but be amazed at how fast the summer months have flown by. In a week and a half, three of my kids will start school; and one starts her junior year at Notre Dame this week (their first football game is this Saturday!). I …
I recently came across this article on Houzz.com (love that site!): The Question That Can Make You Love Your Home More Okay, so are you curious about the question? Wait for it, wait for it…Designers often ask their clients: How do you want your home to feel? Many people spend a lot of money, time …
As a woman, I was raised in this culture to take care of others’ needs–often at the expense of my own. I know a lot of women can relate to this. The nature of females (or female energy) is naturally inclusive and holistic–we unconsciously want to nurture and include others. This isn’t a “good” or …
What keeps you up at night? Is it the chores that are left undone? Unfulfilled dreams? Painful experiences that you want to resolve? Is it a person you think of or a situation? Excitement for the next day to come–or dread? There are many reasons why you may not be able to shut off the …
Do you feel like you have no control over your life? Can I ask you a question? What’s steering your ship? Your ship represents you and your precious life. Fears, inaccurate and unchallenged beliefs, and ineffective habits all try to steer your ship which leads to the inability to live your best life. Picture a boat …
My children are wonderful gift givers. They are very thoughtful about the gifts they give. About a year ago, my youngest gave me a mug for my birthday which says on the side of it: “It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away!” I love that saying. Drinking my coffee or tea out of this …
Here’s an all too familiar question that life coaches ask their clients: What are your goals right now? It’s a great question because it provides a focus and direction to your life. Maybe it’s to own a nice house? Vacation in Europe? Drive a luxury car? Meet your soul mate? Work from home? Have a really …
In our book The Secrets of Loving Relationships, my husband and I write about emotional wounding. Emotional wounds can harm your relationship by diminishing your ability to connect with your partner. Emotional wounds can occur during adulthood, but many originate in childhood. How do you know you have emotional wounds? When you act in dysfunctional ways. You’re reactive, …
I believe each one of us has a light inside of us which is the essence of our soul. This light is connected to the oneness of the universe and All That Is. When we are born, we are this light. Over time, however, this light becomes smaller and smaller as we struggle with the weight of …
Sparkle On–How Not to Let Those Pesky Challenges Get in the Way of Life! Read More »
I’m not good enough. Is that something that crosses your mind a lot? I would bet that a majority of people who read this article suffer from I’m not good enough. You may not even be aware of it. I’m not good enough. It’s a feeling that is pervasive in today’s world. Want to know how to make …
Before you read the abundance meditation down below, I wanted to provide you with a chance to think about what abundance means to you. When you think of abundance, what do you think of? Is it money? Abundance is more than having monetary wealth. Abundance is a feeling that your heart is full–of love, of …
You are not meant to sit on the sidelines of life, watching the action. You are meant to be playing in the game–playing in the Game of Life. There is nothing wrong with being cheerleaders or supporters of the players on the field, but you owe it to yourself to engage in life, too. Somewhere, between the sidelines and …
In my old life with my ex, I would spend my Saturdays mainly with my kids–which is fantastic, but it is a lonely life for a wife. My ex would get up early and head to work. Usually it was for half the day so he’d be home in the afternoon, but it left me …
If you had to give your relationship or marriage a rating on a scale of 0 being terrible to 10 being out-of-this world awesome, what would you rate it? Why would you give it that rating? Are there certain areas of your marriage where you can’t seem to agree–like finances or household chores? Do you …
Love. I recently heard a guest on an Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday show define love as kindness. I would also add appreciation for when you appreciate something, you are in a space of love. Love has many nuances to it. I love my husband, but this love is different than my love for our children …
Yesterday my family and I went to visit one of my most favorite places: Old Westbury Gardens. Each spring we take a trip there (this year our trip happened to be the day after junior prom so we took my daughter’s prom date/boyfriend as well). We walk through the mansion, full of a family’s treasures …
Mary Jo has been really diligent about starting an exercise routine. For the past 2 weeks she got up at five every morning and went for a walk outside. And then it rained. And rained. And rained. Mary Jo thought to herself that she would go when it stopped raining. Then the sun came out …
I’ve recently begun meditation again after a long period off. It’s hard, as any busy person can attest, to find the time to be still. To begin this journey again, I bought Deepak Chopra’s and Oprah’s meditations on Finding Your Flow (I’m not an affiliate–I just like to share what makes a difference in my …
Ahhh stress….it feels like an old friend sometimes, doesn’t it? Maybe you are having trouble sleeping or you’re snappier than usual. Your family pays a price, your friends, co-workers–but who pays the biggest price? YOU! Your physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological health pay a price. And you know what happens too, when you get really …
I love meeting people. I love finding out who they are and getting to know them better (curiosity is a good trait to have as a therapist). When you first meet someone, first you introduce yourself and then you begin to learn about the other person and the other person about you. “Hi, my name …
What was the best thing that ever happened to you? Maybe it was meeting your soul mate? Having awesome kids? Landing your dream job? Winning the lottery? Meeting a celebrity? Would you ever answer the question with some kind of life challenge you’ve had? I recently came across this quote: Goliath was the best thing …
What Was the Best Thing that Ever Happened to You? Read More »
I begin my each of my coaching appointments with the client and I getting centered and grounded. I think it’s a great way to start off a session for both of us. I do this by having the client close their eyes (assuming they are not talking with me in their car while driving–Yikes!) and …
Drama got you down? Have you ever had one of those weeks–or months–that seems like there’s a situation occurring wherever you turn? Drama in the family, crisis situation at work–it affects your sleep, your thoughts, your life! When you feel overwhelmed by negativity or stress, one thing that is helpful is to recenter yourself through …
As a woman, I know all too well the superwoman feeling of having to do it all. Let’s see…we’ve got work needs, home needs, personal needs, relationship needs, financial needs, social needs, spiritual needs–Whew! No wonder work and life responsibilities are hard to balance! So here’s a question for ya (life coaches and counselors love …
I love to read. At any given time, if you look on my desk or nightstand I have at least 5 books that I’m reading. Right now for example, I’m reading MockingJay, Building Your Ideal Private Practice (for one of my classes in Marriage and Family Therapy–great book by the way!), A Year By the Sea, …
Human beings experience a wide range of feelings during the day. Think about this: Let’s say you wake up excited about your day, then you get annoyed because your coffee spilled, then sad because you have to leave your kids to go to work, back to excited about a lunch date, etc. If you take …
It’s always great news to know someone has thought of your blog and wants to nominate it for a Liebster Award! Especially since it’s my second nomination. It’s also nice to know that even though I haven’t been as focused on the blog because of my studies as a graduate student in Marriage and Family …
Life certainly can hand you some challenges. Let’s face it: Sometimes you wonder what the heck you signed up for! And yet, through it all, at the core of you is a changeless spirit–it’s not suffering, not judging, not doing or being anything but just being what is. Your core, your essence, or what I …
Have you ever been out in public and a couple has caught your attention–and not in a good way? Maybe they’re mean to one another, or one of them is ogling another person in their vicinity? It’s uncomfortable to watch. And what is so obvious in other couples may be harder to see in our …
“Imagine what you’d do if it absolutely didn’t matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.” ~Martha Beck Confidence. One of the definitions of confidence is the “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.” (dictionary.com). When you’re confident in yourself and your abilities, you don’t give a …
Ahhh the grumpies….Everyone gets in a bad mood once in awhile. Maybe you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or someone inadvertently says something that triggers your grumpiness. However you found yourself in a bad mood, you know you don’t want to stay in it. How do you get out of a …
Self-confidence is the result of a successfully survived risk. ~Jack Gibb When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone and it turned out to be a good thing? We can spend so much time in fear, that all that thinking and avoiding takes us away from taking risks. And taking …
This past week a reader (who will remain anonymous) posed a really interesting question: Is it okay if a parent tells their child that the reason for the family splitting up is because the other parent had an affair? And going further I would add, is there a certain age in which it’s appropriate to …
To Tell or Not to Tell–Should Kids Know About Their Parent’s Affair? Read More »
You want to change your life? Control the only thing you can control: the meaning you give something. ~Anthony Robbins I love this quote especially because I’ve been learning in grad school about different therapy models that address changing the client’s meanings that they give to things/experiences/people. If you change the meaning you give something, …
I think divorce has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. I’ve dealt with the death of my mother at age 7 (she was pregnant and died suddenly from a pulmonary embolism), neglect and abuse in my childhood after that, the death of my younger twin brother (I am an …
This week I’ve been studying solution-focused brief therapy and it reminds me a lot of life coaching. The therapist uses questions to get their clients to focus on solutions, not their problems. They also use a lot of “cheerleading” and they are very positive. I love the idea of being solution-focused as opposed to problem-focused. …
In honor of Valentine’s Day this week, I chose this quote: When all your desires are distilled you will cast just two votes: To love more and be happy. ~Hafiz of Persia I chose this quote also because one of my assignments for a marriage and family therapy class involves watching a video on a …
There are no failures—just experiences and your reactions to them. ~Tom Krause When failures occur, often people become flustered, embarrassed, angry–all sorts of emotions surface because of the experience of failure. But, what if there was no such thing as failure? What if every challenge, every mistake, every failure was really only a learning opportunity …
This post came about because of caller’s dilemma on Dr. Laura’s show on Sirius Radio. It is my reflection on Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s views of divorce and second marriages. As a remarried mother of 4 children (three daughters and a stepson), I am aware of the claim that a majority of second marriages fail. That …
Which Comes First: Your Marriage or Your Children? Read More »
I have a question to ask: Do you play small? What I mean by that is, do you shrink in life because you are fearful or because you don’t feel worthy? There are many people who feel this way. I want to invite those who know their life could be better to shed their chains, …
Time and time again, people will create these awesomely amazing resolutions like this year I will get rich, I will be organized, or I will lose weight–only to lose sight of their goal after a month of not quite being on track with it. It can be overwhelming to state goals in such broad, sweeping …
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs …
Quote of the Week–Teddy Roosevelt’s Quote on Daring Greatly Read More »
Happy new year to all! Wishing you success and abundance in all areas of your life! The first of the new year is traditionally the time to sit down, assess our lives, and based upon our assessments, create goals and resolutions to help create an extraordinary life. We look to the past to see what …
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. – Meister Eckhart A heart filled with gratitude is filled with positivity, with hope, with love, happiness, and abundance. When you look at the world full of gratitude and appreciation, you take nothing for granted. A practice …
Quote of the Week–Saying “Thank You” and Being Grateful Read More »
Showing appreciation is a nice way to show someone you care and are thinking of them. Today, reach out to someone by doing or saying something kind. Let them know: How have they touched your life? It takes only a moment, but lasts so much longer for the person you are giving to. Warm someone’s …
This week’s quote is by Anthony Robbins: “How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?” ~Anthony Robbins I thought this quote was especially pertinent with the New Year right around the corner. Most people begin shifting their attention from the holidays to setting goals and creating a …
Ahhhh….the holiday season. Let’s see…there’s holiday parties, gifts to purchase and wrap, kids to calm down, memories to make–not to mention all those holiday recipes to make too! Oh, and there’s holiday cards to purchase, address, and send, and…oh boy! Is your stress level rising as you read this? Are you going over a mental …
7 Ways to Set Yourself Up for Joy this Holiday Season! Read More »
This week’s quote came from Facebook: “Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.” It reminds me of the Golden Rule, which is based on your behaviors: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or, do no harm. It is a lovely sentiment, but often times people are …
Even writing the title of this article makes me smile because it just sounds ridiculous! However, there are people who choose to live crappy lives and they tend to have a few things in common, like: They use excuses to quit. Blame others for their issues, failures, and where they are in life. Don’t bother …
This past winter, my daughters were excited at the thought of no school because of an impending blizzard (the whole area was abuzz with the news of an upcoming storm–another glorious, full-blown, might-lose-our-power-yet-again storm!). How fun it’d be, they thought, to have the day off, go sledding, play with our puppy in the snow, sip …
I love quotes. I collect them–really! I have a document on my computer that is 70 pages of just quotes. So, you can imagine the dilemma each week having to come up with a quote–because there’s so many of them! Since it’s Thanksgiving this week here in America, I thought I’d share one on giving …
Ah, the holidays…great food, great memories, great company. Okay, so maybe some of you are a little anxious about spending time with the family. Lots of people dread the holidays because it means spending time with family members who you don’t get along with or you can’t stand. It also might mean your kids are …
This week’s quote is a great one to remember if you tend to neglect yourself in the process of supporting others in your life. Or, if you feel guilty about spending time improving yourself–whether it’s improving your body, mind, or spirit. Life is a gift and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to …
Making the choice to go see a therapist can be hard. It’s an incredibly important and personal decision to admit you need professional guidance about some aspect of your life. You feel vulnerable, maybe a little excited at the opportunity to change your life, and scared about the prospect of processing life events and moving …
I’d like to thank Vicki M. Taylor for nominating my blog for the Liebster Award! Vicki’s blog is Your Writing Coach, so I felt it was especially kind of her to nominate me! Woohoo! I’m a curious type so I wanted to know what exactly was a Liebster Award. According to Sopphey Says, the Liebster …
I love quotes. I love their succinct messages and their pearls of wisdom. I got the idea for this post series from a fellow blogger, Leah Davidson at RaisingFlowersandSkids.com. Not only does she post a quote of the week on her website, she selects quotes of the week for her family too, and posts them …
I am writing this post in the midst of doing a 7-page paper on strategic family therapy. It’s Tuesday and it has already been a busy week. As the new Executive Director of a smaller nonprofit, I’ve come into the position with some great ideas for growth, surrounded by great people, and a not-so-great accountant …
If you want to keep your marriage healthy and happy, there are four things you definitely do not want to do, so says John Gottman of the Gottman Institute. 1. Criticism. This is criticism of your partner, not their behaviors, but an aspect of their personality or their character. The one who is doing the …
Confrontations with people who attack you emotionally can leave you feeling drained, hurt, upset, and confused. You may wonder afterwards what it was you did to them and why you made them so angry. Instead of “taking on their stuff” and taking it personally, realize that more often than not, the attack wasn’t about you …
This post is a request from aduckinherpond.com — how to keep from feeling anxious. Love that idea! So first, a little background. What is anxiety? It is a feeling of nervousness, stress, worry, and fear. These feelings can range from mild to moderate to severe and debilitating. Anxiety can be considered “normal” as in, you …
If you are not feeling wealthy, it is easy to slip into worry about your financial situation. Living above your means or paycheck to paycheck may be a reality; but becoming stressed, overwhelmed, or complaining about the situation does not help! In fact, it makes matters worse. When you find yourself thinking dreadful thoughts about …
Jen has stacks and stacks of papers, files, and books on her desk, chair, and floor in her office. “The file’s here somewhere,” she thinks to herself, her voice tinged with a hint of anxiety. In today’s world, you’re in the minority if you don’t feel overwhelmed from time-to-time. Even kids are over-scheduled, overwhelmed with …
One of the most pleasurable aspects of life is having fun, yet when you look around, it really doesn’t look like many people are. Sometimes I like to look into other people’s cars while I’m on the road (and while I’m stopped at a light) to see who’s smiling. I don’t see a lot of …
What are the bad habits that hold you back in life; that have kept you from living your best life? What can you think of that has affected your ability to really shine in life? Too much tv or computer time? Overeating? Not taking the time to exercise? Smoking? Gossipping? Not taking the the risks …
I was thrilled to be asked to be a guest blogger this week over at A Dish of Daily Life. The topic? Dealing with Unwanted Parenting Advice. Michelle (the awesome gal from A Dish of Daily Life) has already written the first article in the series. You can read it here: Dealing with Parenting Advice …
Before my website crashed on that fateful day of August 26, 2013*, I had written a post about things I love about my husband. I originally got the idea off another blog and I don’t remember whose it was, but I came across the idea again thanks to beautythroughimperfection.com‘s site. Hey, I’m up for spreadin’ …
When life gets busy, we can take our loved ones for granted. Sometimes, we can also get a little grouchy and take it out on the nearest person–your partner, your kids, or the cashier at the store. Oh boy! How can you make it nice for others around you? Here are 10 ways to make …
Repetitive thoughts about anger, frustration, or suffering serve to keep you continually visiting the past or future-projecting into the future. You become comfortable with the uncomfortable feelings, giving them permission to take over the present moment. Like an itch to be scratched, you keep going for the wound, hoping that this time you will come …
Stress. It wreaks havoc on your physical health, not to mention your emotional health and well-being. What gets you stressed out? Some familiar triggers are: balancing work and life, finances, your job, your family, a conflict, boundary issues, or traffic/commute. What are some great ways to lessen the stress in your life? Here are some suggestions: Stop comparing yourself to others …
“Think thoughts that make you feel good, make choices that make you feel good, and take actions that make you feel good.” ~Cheryl Richardson, You Can Create an Exceptional Life As I enter the second week after this entire website crashed, I am filled with a sense of acceptance (actually since it happened, I have …
Well….the fear of every computer user became a reality. According to my web host they were supposed to back up daily, weekly, and monthly-except they didn’t. And my IT husband, who works really hard to maintain these sites deleted a file, didn’t have the back up and….well, today the site is reborn. Featured posts before …
Life Coaching and Personal Development-The Spiritual Rebirth Read More »
How can the self-help and personal development field help you to: be happy deal positively with emotions such as anger and sadness love yourself create loving relationships use effective goal-setting techniques be successful and wealthy define YOUR best life? You can get this information by immersing yourself in books or the computer, going to workshops, …
Inspirational quotes are a fantastic way to motivate and inspire you. They help shift your focus–especially when you need that little extra push or positivity in your life! They are actually a great little tool to have in your life skills tool belt. When you are feeling discouraged, down, frustrated, angry, stuck, unmotivated, confused (yeah, …
Inspirational Quotes — 25 Great Quotes to Make Your Day Better! Read More »
Vision boards are a fun and creative way to express your dreams and goals. It’s a road map to your best life that can have you on the path to incredible success in no time! Sometimes goal-setting seems, well, boring! It’s a great way to accomplish wonderful things in your life, but many people put …
20 Ways to Thrive in Your Life Many of the people my husband and I coach are at a transition point in their lives or they are experiencing pain and no longer want to be in struggle. Wherever you are in life, everyone wants to be living a better life–their best life. We all have …
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”~Barack Obama Often in life, major life changes occur when there is divorce, death, illness, the loss of a job… Life changes …
