Divorce or Break Up, Personal Development, Relationship Advice
This is part 3 of my journey of meeting and marrying my soul mate. In this series of articles, I share how I found authentic and conscious love and how you can, too. In part 1, I wrote about how my childhood set me up for disaster. In part 2, I wrote about how my...
Divorce or Break Up, Family, Personal Development, Relationship Advice
This is the part 2 of my journey of meeting and marrying my soul mate. In this series of articles, I share how I found authentic and conscious love and how you can, too. In part 1, I wrote about how my childhood set me up for disaster. Entering Adulthood I flunked out...
Divorce or Break Up, Family, Personal Development, Relationship Advice
This is the part 1 of my journey of meeting and marrying my soul mate. In this series of articles, I share how I found authentic and lasting love, and how you can, too. I remember meeting the love of my life like it was yesterday. I saw him standing in the parking lot...
Personal Development
“Why do people have to be so mean?” my daughter asked. I’ve heard that phrase a lot from her lately. Being a teenager can be difficult. You’re trying to figure out who you are and her peers apparently have no problem letting her know who she...
Personal Development, Relationship Advice
It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks of writing e-books and preparing for future, upcoming video e-courses I am creating. Recently I’ve written Vision: How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams, and I’ve revised Shine!, and The Wheel of Life....
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
In this vlog, I share with you some of my thoughts on couples in conflict. I shot this video on the beach near my home, soon after a storm. The storm wiped out a lot of the old debris kind of leaving us with a new canvas. It also left in its wake, new debris that had...
Relationship Advice
Is taking a time out from an argument when you or your loved one are worked up, a good idea? An author on a book about emotional intelligence believes emotionally intelligent people don’t walk away from conflict. In this video message, I talk about what I...
Personal Development, Relationship Advice
Today is Valentine’s Day and I thought I would do something a little different. Instead of writing a post, I made a short video for you. This is for anyone, regardless of their relationship status. By the way, I think everyday should be a day focused on giving...
Personal Development, Relationship Advice
Wow! What a year! Will you look back on 2017 as an extraordinary year? Or was it a year that was particularly challenging? A year that saw you reaching your goals or brought you closer to them? Or, did you find yourself struggling to meet even your daily tasks and/or...
Personal Development
Anne (not her real name) came to see me to work on her relationship with her boyfriend and also to work on having more confidence and self-esteem. According to her, her boyfriend had all kinds of issues and did not treat her well. She thought she could...
Relationship Advice
In the last article, 7 Reasons Why Your Relationship Might Not Make It, I wrote about the 7 relationship skills that have a tremendous impact on your relationship. Here’s a recap: Communication. Knowing how to communicate in a healthy way makes a huge...
Relationship Advice
When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, there is all kinds of advice out there. Some advice is good, and some not so good. When it comes to advice, it is important to think about the source. There are relationship “experts” who...
Relationship Advice
Want to know one of the key factors to living your best life? Having great relationships. Think about it: If your significant relationships with your partner, family, and/or friends aren’t great, then it affects the other parts of your life. If relationships...
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
Ah love…First you meet each other, then you fall in love, and then if it reaches this point, you decide to get married. It’s wonderful, those first months and years of being in a serious relationship. It’s at that stage in your relationship that...
Relationship Advice
Relationships are the best way to find out about others and about yourself. Relationships can have a huge impact in your life on how you thrive, stay alive, or barely manage to survive. There’s so much advice out there on how to have healthy, happy, and loving...
Relationship Advice
Are you bored with your relationship and your partner? Do you wish your relationship was like it used to be–like when you first met? Maybe your partner was more romantic, thoughtful, talkative, or less grumpy? There’s something so nice about being in a...
Divorce or Break Up
When do most people file for divorce? According to recent research, the two months of the year when most people divorce are March and August. Well, at least for the state of Washington. Brian Serafini and Julie Brines from the University of Washington researched the...
Divorce or Break Up
What’s one of the best ways to get through divorce? According to researchers Gabriele Prati and Luca Pietrantoni (2009), posttraumatic growth following a major life crisis like divorce is fostered by having social support. Finding a support system for yourself...
Divorce or Break Up
Okay, confession time. I have a vice: After a particularly long day, I like to veg out to entertainment news on my iPad. U K Daily News can have some particularly gruesome news on their site (please take off the news about ISIS on there), but if you like a lot of...
Personal Development
Today marks the forty-first anniversary of my mother’s death. I was seven years old when she suddenly passed away from a pulmonary embolism. She was due in June of that year, but the pregnancy caused her blood to clot, ultimately cutting her life short when the...
Divorce or Break Up, Personal Development
It’s inevitable. At some point, if you haven’t already gone through a major life change, you will. Maybe it’s when your kids grow up and move out, you get a divorce, there’s a job loss, the loss of a loved one, alienation of a child, an...
Divorce or Break Up
Okay, so this post, “If You Could Give Your Divorce a Song Title What Would It Be?” is not my usual kind of post. It is not necessarily enlightening and it’s not informative, but hey–sometimes you gotta lighten things up especially when it...
Divorce or Break Up, Family
Triangles (not the shape but the relationship dynamic) can mess up relationships especially if you aren’t aware of what they are and what they can do. Everyone, to some extent, has relationships that are triangles. Triangles, according to Murray Bowen*, a...
Personal Development
As a life coach, I have the privilege of helping clients reach their goals. It’s amazing to watch! This time of year (New Year’s), people tend to take on the role of life coach to themselves as they write out their resolutions of how life will be...
Divorce or Break Up
“Happy holidays!” someone shouted to me. “Mmm hmmm, ” I mumbled. Gosh, I felt miserable then. About ten years ago I faced my first Christmas as an almost-single woman. We decided we would split up in early December but he’d move out...
Divorce or Break Up
Divorce can be tough. My own divorce process took almost three years and it was extremely hard trying to keep the kids out of the fray. It’s hard for most people to handle the break-up of relationships (I say “most,” but Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris...
Relationship Advice
Want to know how to have a better relationship? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, answer this question: How much do you know about your partner? Do you know their favorite color? Their favorite food? Favorite restaurant? Favorite date night idea?...
Divorce or Break Up, Family
It’s that time of year again in the United States–Thanksgiving time! I love this time of year: creating great memories of culinary feats, satiety, and wonderful company. In other words: Thanksgiving is a time where good company and lots of good food...
Family
Glenda (not her real name) isn’t happy. It’s weird too–she feels like she should be. She’s got a great job and her kids are busy and doing pretty well in school. She has a great group of friends, and her parents are healthy and live an hour...
Family
I’ve got a question for you: On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, how good of a role model for a loving relationship are you and your partner to your child(ren)? How do you think your partner would answer this? Your...
Divorce or Break Up, Family
One of the hardest things about divorce if you’re a parent is having to now split custody of your kids with your ex. I used to be a stay-at-home mother–a conscious decision that was made by both of us for the well-being of our children. Then, with the...
Relationship Advice
When you first fall in love, you aren’t thinking about how in the future relationships can get into a rut or you could eventually break up. No, usually you’re too busy in the moment feeling that incredible feeling of intense love and passion for another...
Relationship Advice
With a coaching and counseling background, I have been exposed to a lot of excellent resources that help people create better relationships with themselves, with their partner, and with their family. I liken all of this education and knowledge to a tool...
Family
Being a mother means many things: providing love and care being a disciplinarian keeping track of schedules driving, feeding, shopping for your kids being their protector, their rock and home base A mother wears many hats: chauffeur, manager, coach, teacher, nurse,...
Family
Reading through dozens of articles on eating disorders and parenting practices (this is for a class in the Marriage and Family Therapy graduate program I’m enrolled in) recently has started me thinking: You can proactively take charge of your parenting by...
Relationship Advice
Got the blues? With Autumn upon us, the days will start getting shorter and a lot of people will start spending more of their days inside (to me that even sounds depressing!). During the winter months, some people will suffer from depression–or what clinicians...
Relationship Advice
Ever since my daughter joined her tennis team, I’ve been slowly getting more into tennis. Recently on a Facebook post, I posted a picture of Serena Williams and referenced her loss at the U.S. Open this year saying something like “You’re still...
Divorce or Break Up
I remember it like yesterday–the day I found out my marriage was ending. Seventeen years down the drain. Kaput. It was the day it felt like the very floor, not just the rug, was pulled out from under me and everything in my world was turned upside down. The...
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
If there were a course called Relationships 101, what would it cover? There’s probably a course out there somewhere that’s called this, but let’s see if we can come up with some of the topics: How to communicate well How to honor your commitment How...
Divorce or Break Up
When I first separated from my ex, it was hard to refrain from stating what I was going through to a selective audience who would listen. Most of my inner circle knew what was going on and they knew about my painful break-up after 17 years of being married. ...
Divorce or Break Up
Divorce. It is one of the most stressful things you can go through, up there on the list with the death of a loved one and a major job loss. If you’ve been through one–especially if it was acrimonious–you’ll know that while it wasn’t...
Divorce or Break Up
In the news recently you probably couldn’t help but hear of the story of the three kids sent to juvenile detention center for refusing to see their father. A little background here: A Michigan judge ordered the children, ages 9 to 15, to be sent to a juvenile...
Family
Way back when I was in school, I had never heard of cutting but this was 3 decades ago. Nowadays if you’re a parent, chances are you’ve probably heard of cutting. Cutting has existed for a long time, but more kids are trying it now because of its exposure...
Family
As a student in a Marriage and Family Therapy program, you cover a wwwwiiiiiiddddddde range of topics in your studies. One of the topics covered is attention deficit/hyperactive disorder–or ADHD for short. You may know someone personally who has ADHD. ...
Family
Parenthood. It’s glorious and laborious. It’s oh-so-wonderfully meaningful yet pull-your-hair-out challenging. If you’re a parent of young children and babies, you’re struggling for adequate sleep and other basic needs. Parents of older...
Relationship Advice
Our elders have a lot to teach us. Recent research* has uncovered the reasons why long-married couples stay together–and by long-married I mean couples who have been together for 30,40, 50 or more years. What’s their advice for long-lasting love? The Top...
Family
Parenting has been around for thousands and thousands of years. Yet I, without knowing you, the reader, or most of the world’s population, I am going to go out on a limb here and state that nowhere on this planet can anyone call themselves “the perfect...
Family
Most parents need parental guidance at some time during their kids’ lives. Maybe they get their parenting tips from loved ones (whether it’s solicited or not) or they might get it from books or the Internet. Wherever the information comes from, searching...
Relationship Advice
When I was on the verge of turning 40, my 17-year marriage blew up into oblivion. Divorced and alone, I faced the world with a certain resolve that I would not get in a relationship again. I didn’t want to go through the heartbreak of another break up. I also...
Relationship Advice
When life gets busy, hectic, or stressful, one of the first things to go on the proverbial back burner–besides your self-care–is your relationship. Taking relationships for granted, thinking they’ll be there when you are less busy, less stressed,...
Family
As a coach and counselor, I consider a major part of my job is bringing out the best in people. Isn’t that a wonderful job description!? But guess what! You have that job too! Part of your job as Loved One to others is to bring out the best in people. If you...
Divorce or Break Up, Family
I have had several challenges during my child- and adulthood that have helped define the person I am today. And what has gotten me through them is knowing this: This too will pass. When I was seven years old, I lost my adoptive mother. Pregnant at the time, she...
Relationship Advice
One thing I see a lot of in couples is the lack of emotional connection between them. They are so busy or so distracted with other things in life, they don’t pay attention to how their relationship suffers because of the lack of attention and focus they give...
Relationship Advice
Look around you and you’ll notice that most people are in a rush. Hurry up to finish the project at work. Hurry to get supper on the table. Hurry to help the kids with their homework. Hurry to kiss goodbye to your spouse as you rush out the door. Hurry,...
Divorce or Break Up, Family
Recently, I published the following quote on Twitter: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”- The Buddha One of the things I teach my coaching clients is to keep...
Relationship Advice
I’m going to bet you’ve either heard of or read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I read the book a long time ago when someone gave it to me as a gift. I remember thinking it was really helpful (at that time, I remember too, that there were a few...
Relationship Advice
At the outset if I was more mature, aware, and conscious, I would have recognized the my first marriage was a disaster from the start (except that I got three beautiful children from this relationship). Oh, our marriage was okay-ish for a long time–until we...
Relationship Advice
A lot of conflict in relationships boils down to one thing: You and/or your partner aren’t getting your needs met. Everyone has basic needs–like food, shelter, and water. But do you know what your needs are when it comes to your relationship? These are...
Uncategorized
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty (thank you dictionary.com). Having integrity as a person is a wonderful ideal. Ask people what character traits they value and most will respond with integrity as part of...
Relationship Advice
Most people get married without knowing if they are truly a good match with their partner. Your romantic feelings override those important discussions about roles, values, and major life issues. You overlook the charming quirks. There’s nothing like the...
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
A while back, I wrote a post on the local AOL outlet Patch called “5 Ways to Know You’ve Lost Yourself” and although it was published over 2 years ago, it continues to be a popular article on their site. I think that’s because a lot of people...
Divorce or Break Up
Going through a painful divorce? Are you already divorced but having a hard time moving on? With more than half of marriages ending up in divorce, wouldn’t you think there would be a heck of a lot more material out there on how to get over a major relationship...
Family
When you’re the head of a busy family, your needs often get smushed down to accommodate everyone else’s needs. Your kids need your attention; your spouse does, too. Each day presents a challenge: How can I make it through the day without letting the...
Family
Harmony. 1. agreement; accord; harmonious relations. 2. a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity (from dictionary.com). Harmony is also used to refer to music; t’s the blending of chords that produces sound that is pleasing to...
Family
Have you ever watched a movie and its message stayed with you long afterwards? Recently, I watched the movie “Undefeated,” a documentary based on the true story of a high school football team, the Manassas Tigers, who when the movie begins, have yet to...
Uncategorized
Wake up, rush to get ready, eat breakfast (if you’re lucky), rush to work, come home, eat dinner, watch a little tv, go to bed. Does this sound familiar? Did your day go by in a blur? Maybe it was not so rushed, but was it a day that lacked purpose, meaning,...
Personal Development
Recently, I wrote an article about Coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success. At the bottom of his Pyramid of Success are his 12 Lessons in Leadership. These are obviously geared toward a sports team, but this information can also be translated into your...
Uncategorized
I recently watched a Ted Talk with Coach John Wooden–which was really inspiring (Did you know? The word inspire comes from a Latin word which means to breathe ~Source: dictionary.com) . Coach Wooden’s speech is filled with his old-fashioned notion of...
Uncategorized
It’s that time of year: Winter! As I write this, there’s no snow on the ground beckoning me to go outside and shovel (shoveling is one of my favorite things to do in winter. I know that must sound crazy to some people!). Winter has a way of making you...
Divorce or Break Up
Many of you know by now my experience of being a rejected parent (I have written before on my experience of Parental Alienation) of two of our kids: one biological, one a stepchild. These instances began during their middle school years (an age ripe for this) and...
Uncategorized
It’s that time of year! With the approach of the New Year, many people begin to reflect on their New Year’s resolutions (see last week’s post: New Year’s Goal Setting, Version 2.0). Take some time to get quiet this week–even if...
Uncategorized
As we near the end of the year, I have a question to ask you: Are you one of the millions of people who begin thinking of setting goals and resolutions for the new year ahead? If you are, some of you will start the process by bringing up the disappointments of this...
Family
It’s that emotional time of the year–it’s the holidays! For some people, the stress of doing it all, and doing it perfectly creates a stressed out ball of nerves. You know what I’m talking about! If it’s not you, you know someone like...
Uncategorized
A guest post written by my husband, Don Nenninger. Want to deal with the haters in your life? Have a critic in your family of origin who is always telling you another way to do it better, or why you’re not good enough? Work someplace where criticism is the norm?...
Relationship Advice
Character–an ethical or moral quality; an aggregate of traits and features that comprise the nature of a person. Character is more than what we notice about a person from the outside–it is who they are even when no one is watching. When was the last time...
Relationship Advice
It’s Thanksgiving time! This time of year in the United States, families look forward to spending time with family and cooking a huge, gigantic, gourmet meal centered around–pie. No, it’s turkey. It should be pie, but it’s all about the bird...
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
You’re in a fight with your partner. Your heart is racing, your body feels rooted to the floor, and yet you feel like you want to run. Or, maybe you feel incredibly irritated and you just want to lash out. When you’re feeling adrenalized, and your fight...
Divorce or Break Up
John Gottman and Nan Silver share their research-backed principles for successful marriages in the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999). In the book, Gottman and Silver describe the signs they look for that can predict divorce. Their research...
Relationship Advice
One of the assignments for a class in my Marriage and Family Therapy program was to think of an issue relevant to families today and create a program for the issue. Fun (I love this subject!)! Our program couldn’t be based on opinion, it had to be backed by...
Divorce or Break Up
No one gets married with the intention of eventually getting a divorce. We all want to buy into that optimistic dream of living happily ever after. After all, who wants a divorce? Divorce can be traumatic, expensive, it can tear apart a home, affect children for...
Uncategorized
How do you define home? Home is a physical place, but it is also a spiritual, emotional, and psychological place, too. For many, home means a place of belonging and acceptance. These feelings are vitally important to the development of identity not only growing...
Relationship Advice
I recently heard an interview on a Sirius radio show with a host asking someone their best piece of advice for the audience. “Don’t feed the trolls,” they said. Don’t feed the trolls! What a clever way of disguising a great skill to have in...
Family
Back when you were a teenager, you probably remember trying to figure out who you were. Maybe you tried different hairstyles, clothing, sayings…During the adolescent stage of development, your teen is seeking the answer to the major life question: Who am...
Relationship Advice
I love daisies. They’re beautiful flowers that for me exude a sense of innocence, naiveté, fun, and beauty in its simplest form. Some people may not like daisies because they don’t have a scent. They prefer roses. Roses come in more colors and...
Family
I love all the seasons–they all have their special traditions and memories for me. Fall is no exception. Fall is a wonderful time to be out in nature. It’s a lovely time of year to go for a hike or go for a run on trails to see the beautiful foliage....
Uncategorized
As the mother to 3 girls and 1 step-son, I feel as a parent that they should know how to handle compliments. They get a lot of them! Many adults don’t know how to handle compliments either. Here’s a simple way to deal with them: Say, “Thank...
Uncategorized
Have you ever seen a map of a place, and in the middle of it there is a little marker with “YOU ARE HERE” on it? Sometimes it’s nice to know where you are–like if you’re in a crowded mall, or on a complicated hiking trail. I think the...
Uncategorized
Ask anyone if they’d like to be happy and they’ll say yes. I mean, c’mon–we’re a nation obsessed with happiness! The right to the pursuit of happiness is even in our Constitution. Okay, so we’ve established that everyone wants...
Uncategorized
If you are a U.S. citizen, everyone probably remembers where they were and what they were doing on 9/11. It was a turning point for every one of us–a huge wake-up call that we weren’t safe on our home soil. Our troops dealt with this kind of violence on...
Uncategorized
It’s that time of year–it’s BACK TO SCHOOL time. For me, it means a tremendous amount of driving around for my kids (thank goodness they’re active), but I think it’s wonderful to have that one-on-one time with them. Back to school time...
Divorce or Break Up, Relationship Advice
Watching the “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie with my stepson and husband recently (hey–good movie, by the way!), I found myself thinking about the classic Good Guy/Bad Guy scenario where you know who the villain is and who the heroes are. It can be...
Uncategorized
As we finish up the final week in August (2014), I can’t help but be amazed at how fast the summer months have flown by. In a week and a half, three of my kids will start school; and one starts her junior year at Notre Dame this week (their first football game...
Uncategorized
I recently came across this article on Houzz.com (love that site!): The Question That Can Make You Love Your Home More Okay, so are you curious about the question? Wait for it, wait for it…Designers often ask their clients: How do you want your home to feel?...
Uncategorized
As a woman, I was raised in this culture to take care of others’ needs–often at the expense of my own. I know a lot of women can relate to this. The nature of females (or female energy) is naturally inclusive and holistic–we unconsciously want to...
Uncategorized
What keeps you up at night? Is it the chores that are left undone? Unfulfilled dreams? Painful experiences that you want to resolve? Is it a person you think of or a situation? Excitement for the next day to come–or dread? There are many reasons why you...
Family, Relationship Advice
Having given birth to three beautiful, healthy baby girls and as the mother of a wonderful stepson, I can truly appreciate the concept of celebrating birthdays. The actual birth day is a wonderful celebration of life, miracles, and love. Each year through the...
Family
Parenting is probably the hardest job out there, but it can really provide us with innumerable lessons for growth. I recently read a post called What if We Gave Them the Benefit of the Doubt? It was a post about a parent going right to blame when a child spilled an...
Uncategorized
Do you feel like you have no control over your life? Can I ask you a question? What’s steering your ship? Your ship represents you and your precious life. Fears, inaccurate and unchallenged beliefs, and ineffective habits all try to steer your ship which...
Uncategorized
My children are wonderful gift givers. They are very thoughtful about the gifts they give. About a year ago, my youngest gave me a mug for my birthday which says on the side of it: “It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away!” I love that...
Uncategorized
Here’s an all too familiar question that life coaches ask their clients: What are your goals right now? It’s a great question because it provides a focus and direction to your life. Maybe it’s to own a nice house? Vacation in Europe? Drive a...
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